Mates, Friends, Acquantinces

Okay, before I get into the meat of the post I have to have a little rant about the things I hate. I hate driving in the rain, at night, on busy roads and on tiny little backstreets. I'm not a huge fan of driving in general really, hence the love of hitchhiking over car hire (though the Scot and the Jew in my ancestry may also have something to do with that). I also hate working when it's too cold, too hot, raining, when I'm sick, when I'm tired, when my boss is being a jerk and well, working in general (go figure huh) though all in all I love my job; It's interesting, engaging and I get to learn something new pretty much on a weekly basis whilst my coworkers and bosses are, at the moment pretty good . Just because I had to do most of these things today they're on my mind but hot showers, junk food and an inexplicable sense of awesome that settled in about four this afternoon balanced these things so all is right with the world.

Okay, as for the meat: Anyone that knows me should know that I overanalyse shit, doctors call it neurosis I suppose but I just call it "my little hobby" and one of the things I overanalyse is my interpersonal interactions so here goes; I have a few boxes in my head that I put people in and by far the three most important are the mates, friends and acquaintances boxes and these incorporate nearly everyone I interact with any regularity.

The first level is an acquaintance, they might be a coworker or a guy you see down the bar of a Friday night with whom you'll play pool and talk shit. The relationship may be enjoyable but at the crux of it its superficial, they may ask you how you're going or how your day has been but they haven't got any concern beyond social convention and natural human empathy. To be an acquaintance someone could be someone you share an interest with, someone you see regularly, someone who is in your social circle for some reason or any of a number of different things. You might have their number but you'll only text them if there's something you think they should know and are unlikely to call them ever.

The next level is a friend, these are the people that you surround yourself with, I'm sure everyone knows what a friend is (if you don't, well, leave a comment, I'll be your friend I promise) but well I'm going to clarify what I see them as. They are the people that make you feel good when you're down (whilst acquaintances make you feel good when you feel good), the ones you turn to for advice and counsel, the people you will trust with almost anything. To be a friend they must have one of the things that make them an acquaintance as well as a certain amount of trust. They don't have to share anything like opinions on important issues, religion or political ideals; Friendship doesn't work like that at all. Just trust and the mind does the rest.

The final level is a mate, The ANZACs in gallipoli and the defenders during the winter war had mates, the guys that would watch their back whilst people died around them, the ones that they would ask to keep their womenfolk safe should they die in battle. I have well over a dozen friends I would say but in the entire world (literally) I only have three mates and these are people that if it really came to the crunch I would drop everything and jump on the next plane to be with them, that I would empty my bank account to save, that I would risk some serious harm for.etc. etc. Mates are the people that make life worth living but I can't tell you what's required for someone to be a mate, hell I had an ex girlfriend of an acquaintance of an ex girlfriend magically evolve into a mate but I suspect it has something to do with shared adversity and a lot of trust.

Sex complicates matters somewhat but I think some simple maths can describe my analysis
Acquaintance + Sex = Hook Up or Fuck Buddy
Friend + Sex = Mistake or Friend with Benefits
Mate + Sex = Soulmate

Always Forward, Never Straight