The Ice Cream Flavours of Sex

Well a mate of mine and I have had this discussion a couple of times, trying to quantify what flavour each sexual practice is (due to the original being called vanilla) and I've decided to finally try an exhaustive list of quantification.

Vanilla - Everyone knows this flavour, it's your normal, everyday (some would say boring) sex, It's the flavour you eat when you're with someone you don't know that well and don't want them to be put off by your choice of ice cream flavours or when you can't be bothered with something fancy.

French Vanilla / Old Vanilla etc. - Homosexual sex. It's the ice cream flavour some will get instead of vanilla because they prefer the taste. Everyone has their preference but most people don't really care which flavour someone eats in their own home. There is a vocal minority that think French Vanilla is a perversion unto all ice cream everywhere and as such should be banned from sale at supermarkets and ice cream parlours.

Soft Serve Ice Cream - One Night Stands. This is ice cream that's quick, easy and relatively cheap but well it just isn't as enjoyable as the real deal, also you (usually) can't get the same variety in flavours.

Choc chip - Anal Sex. This is pretty much just vanilla ice cream with one small difference, a difference some will claim makes it much more enjoyable than the usual whilst others find it disgusting.

Chocolate - Rimming, Arse to Mouth etc. This is the little difference between choc chip and vanilla taken to the extreme and again there's those disgusted with this difference and those that swear by it.

Where this analogy breaks down is you can get chocolate soft serve but not choc chip, if only it was the other way around.

Strawberry - Cumshots/Facials. This, like choc chip is another fairly common flavour that people choose as a break from their usual vanilla though quite a few people find the taste unpalatable.

Licorice - BDSM. There are those that love this ice cream flavour because it's just the right mix of painfully disgusting and pleasurably delicious and there are those that hate it and find the taste only disgusting. Of those that do enjoy it most will only eat it in there own homes with those they trust. Salmiakki (Dutch Licorice / Turkish Pepper) flavour is things like blood play because it takes the licorice flavour that one step further.

Pineapple - Watersports. This flavour is tangy and loved by some but most people find it just plain disgusting.

Neopolitan - Porn. The mixture of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry seems to be the most popular combination as far as I can see.

Boysenberry - Sex whilst she's on her period. Boysenberry is mostly vanilla icecream but it has a weird, red mixed into it that can turn some off whilst others find it preferable. I've yet to see Boysenberry that uses French Vanilla as a base but I'm sure it exists and that someone somewhere loves it.

Rum 'n' Raisin - Morning after sex. Now you can get that alcohol taste in your ice cream, along with a hint of something more, it's the after taste you have to worry about here.

Gelati - Oral Sex. Gelati ticks most of the same boxes as Ice Cream when it comes to enjoyment but it's not quite the same. Some people prefer it and nearly everyone considers it the "low fat, less wicked alternative."

So far this is all I've got but please do make your own suggestions or even just supply ice cream flavours / sex acts that I've forgotten,

Always Forward, Never Straight
Alastair