Many a Thought

Well LiveJournal has been down for the last couple of weeks and whilst I'm sure there has been much gnashing of teeth from the blogging community I for one am actually glad of the downtime because I've been depressed lately and I'm sure this place has quite enough "damn, I feel like the stereotypical nice guy that always finishes last" bullshit. My depression isn't normally so melancholy and "woe is me" but hey, I didn't deserve the whole abusive housemate crap on top of the perpetually single (forever aloooooooooone) conundrum despite my past as an all around bastard (only at certain acute points I might add) so I don't feel too bad about it all.

What've I been doing with myself the screaming multituides cry? Working; Like a boss is the only answer there could ever be and it has actually been pretty sweet. My bosses treat me with a small amount of respect, I'm raking in some coins and hey I have done some pretty sweet things lately.

My babies have already hatched, I'm now the proud father of over half a million alevins, all swimming around and living off their egg sac like the cutie pies that they are. These are "fish" that I helped strip, fertilise and lay down and oversaw the incubation of. I have now had my sticky fingers in every element of trout growth and development and it may be weird but that's pretty satisfying for me, it's an achievement of sorts in my chosen career path and now the only thing I have to achieve is see some of these babys I have grown last year grow up to be used both as product and as broodstock. Then I've completed a full circle.

Besides that and general duties like processing the fish and cleaning I've been somewhat of a machine operator, I've been driving the tractor and the bobcat (technically a skid steer loader) since those who could do that got fired and the boss was stuck with the option of doing it himself or throwing me at it and saying "don't fuck it up or crash into a pond (something post rave sleep deprivation almost made a reality)." Needless to say he chose the latter. Recently though I've managed to get my grasping hands on the control of a three tonne excavator and I gotta say, it's pretty easy and a good bit of fun. I wouldn't say I'm even competent at it yet but it would be a great skill to have so methinks I'll be seizing every oppurtunity to get in and practice.

Oh, I have to say this; Cleaning fucking sucks, I can handle it at home and I can handle it at work when it's one nice, big job but well today it was a fuck crap tonne of tiny little, pointless jobs getting ready for an audit amd what with my tired self having little patience it pissed me off. All I could think was "fuck, I want to go home, why can't I go home?"

Also an addendum to my trip plans, I want to visit all the little Finno-Ugric speaking minority groups in Russia, most of 'em even have their own autonomous oblasts so one could assume the culture hasn't been too Rusified but I've no diea. It would be sweet at any rate to see and hear the language; Estonian is bad enough what with its extra vowels and lack of vowel harmony so I really want to see what these places have to offer.

Always forward, never straight
Alastair Michael.